Imagine this – you are seeking promotion and at a business event you happen to meet just the right person at just the right moment. Unbeknown to you, this person is looking for a professional HR manager/consultant/director, which is at the forefront of their mind. You start up a conversation that is perfect in tone, subject and energy. At the end of the conversation this person arranges a meeting with you and within two months you have your promotion with just the right amount of money and autonomy.
If I am not asked I do not share my profession though will still enjoy our conversation together no matter what the subject.
Business-to-business networking is about these situations happening all the time, not just every now and then and in this edition I want to focus on you getting very good – at getting it very right – most of the time.
Nowhere else in the business world will you find a room full of “willing” business people than at a networking event where you can play full out and test new ideas, new approaches, new body language, new introductions, new questions and new things. And in the process enjoy yourself!
The bottom line is that meeting new people is one of the best opportunities we could ever wish for as we can risk taking a new business approach, receive instant feedback and immediately try again on another person in the same room to perfect the new idea/approach.
Let me explain exactly what I mean when I say “test or risk” something at a networking event. When I first started networking in London I was pretty awful and had zero results apart from a few people thinking I was “nice”. Nice does not pay the bills or gain promotion – being very good does!
So I watched how others made an impact and the most important “skills” were confidence, rapport and talking to the right people. My question was “so how on earth do you get confident” especially as I was terrified to speak with “important/intelligent/useful/interesting” people?
Remember the saying “fake it before you make it?” so I did – I acted confident, but it took practice – in fact it took a lot of practice – and I still do even today.
I broke down what confidence means to me and asked others what it means to them and then practiced each component and got good at getting it right – but I got good through getting it wrong and not worrying or judging it.
At this point I need to clarify what I mean by getting it “wrong”. For me this means trying a new approach on lets say my introduction, and if I do not achieve the result I had hoped for I would try again on another person until I was getting it right most of the time. I do have a clear idea on what I want my introductions to do – which is the other person wanting to stay engaged in who I am and what I do.
Using introductions as an example I discovered that people engaged in what I do when I listen to their introduction first and then if I am asked what I do I will reply – but only if I am asked. If I am not asked I do not share my profession though will still enjoy our conversation together no matter what the subject.
So my risk is walking away from a person with them not knowing what I do BUT with the other person feeling very happy about our meeting. Having done this hundreds of times I know 9 out of 10 times when I next meet this person they are very likely to want to know more about what I do – not out of obligation but out or a genuine interest.
New people don’t know that you are trying out a different approach, as they have nothing to judge you by – true of false?
How do you gauge feedback from other “networkers” at an event – easy? When talking with someone do they switching on/off to your conversation, do you mostly get yes’s/no’s, are the conversations good/bad in that they stimulate discussion, do you learn more/less about another person, does the person take your call the next day/month/year – or not.
So what is it that you can practice? It is very important to note that your style and mine are different and you must do what is right for you. How you take a risk or test a new idea must be within your own areas of comfort and expressed in you own style. You do need to get uncomfortable but do this your way. I tend to be a little cheeky and smile a lot!
- Test your communication styles – change what you normally do and practice how you have always wanted to
- Test new ideas – find out if other people like your idea and build up your confidence to approach your boss on it. The more you test your approach the more natural you become
- Test your body language – does your language engage the other person?
- Test how you respond and how others respond to you
- Test your handshake – yes I do mean this as well – over 50% of people I meet could have a better handshake – you can always come up and ask me!
- Test your introductions
- Test the energy you create in people
- Test your eye contact
- Test getting out of your comfort zone
- Test different ways of approaching a group, leaving a group etc.
- Attend different groups to see which ones work best for you
- Test yourself on your peer group
- Test to see how soon people lose interest in you and when you get it back again
The bottom line is that meeting new people is one of the best opportunities we could ever wish for as we can risk taking a new business approach, receive instant feedback and immediately try again on another person in the same room to perfect the new idea/approach.
If you are one of the few who believe that networking is boring you are missing a huge opportunity. When you next see me please do pop over and shake my hand and test out your new ideas to hearts content as I love watching people play and achieving new results.