My family have a tradition of a big family holiday once a year. Organising it is a serious headache and it’s that time again.
To give you the lowdown, I’m one of four so used to a bit of rough and tumble. Mayhem could well be our middle name. Being the youngest I learned early on in the game how to have my say and be heard. Thankfully my siblings cannot chip in at this point as they would word that differently!
Now four has morphed into sixteen with children added to the mix. So finding a holiday home is a challenge and one that gets bigger every year and not because we’re producing like rabbits!
And the challenge is?
The ever more diverse range of needs and requirements in the family. The teenagers want bright lights. The grandparents, peace and quiet. The tweenies want freedom. The parents want that freedom to be safe. As for the toddlers, they just need a padded room!
Then when we’ve found the perfect house it’s how ‘to do’ happy holidaying when together 24/7. Suddenly differing family rules on bedtime, manners, internet access, TV viewing, activities allowed and treats become a minefield.
This clash of values, needs and ways of doing things is something I come across a lot in my work.
People judge people. They judge others’ actions by their own moral code of what’s right and wrong.
The upshot? Explosions!
My top tips on how to tip-toe through the minefield…
- judge people by their intention – not action or words
- know that their intention is always to serve a good
- take responsibility for how others respond to you
- get humble when you’re on the wave of righteousness
- learn that differences in needs is not the same as right or wrong
- don’t get mad if you are not being heard – change your communication
- keep your eyes on the common goal