Ever had to fire someone? How did it go? Chances are, that if you are a manager you will have to fire someone during your career.
Some employers never give the courtesy of a face to face discussion. Many managers, when faced with the challenge of firing someone, forget, or are unaware of the emotions that are experienced by the person being fired. Nor are they aware of the behaviour that most often results from these emotions.
It has been well documented that the death of a loved one, a marriage or long term relationship breakup and the loss of one’s job, have an equal and similar impact on one’s emotions. Think for a moment about the loss of one of your dear relatives or friends through death – how did you feel? That’s exactly the same feeling that people have when they suddenly and unexpectedly lose their jobs.
The psychologists tell us that they know two things about firing someone:
1. Firstly, the person at all times must maintain his or her self esteem. This is one of the most basic and important needs that all people have
2. Secondly, it is vitally important to realise that all people will go through the five stages of the grief cycle (quite often at different paces) and as a manager, it is our role and responsibility to help them progress through these stages, particularly the first two that are likely to occur when they are still with us.
How do you do this? You must cover all of the documentary and legal responsibilities pertinent to your country and organisation’s requirements. But keep in mind that the fired employee is first and foremost a person just like you with feelings and emotions that must be managed. Here are some suggestions (assuming of course that you have fulfilled all the other requirements) for the next time that you have to fire someone:
• Before taking any action, ask yourself: “How would I feel if my boss came to me today and said – you’re fired!” Write down a list of words that describe your feelings.
• If you were in the situation of being fired, how would you like your boss to handle it? What would you like him/her to do and to say? Jot down some of your thoughts.
• Now write down a list of the words that best describe your feelings about having to fire someone. Review all the words you have scribbled down so far and pick out the two or three strongest. Also keep in mind how you would like to be handled in similar circumstances.
• Script the start of the conversation using the two or three words you have discovered. e.g. “This is really difficult for me. I feel apprehensive and worried that I won’t get it right.”
• The next part of your opening script will depend on the circumstances. For example in a “lay off” situation, it might go something like; “I have been advised that I have to terminate the employment of a number of people. I am really sad to say that your name is on that list”. Or, for a non performance issue, it could be something like; “We have discussed my expectations about your performance and unfortunately they are still not being met. It now really saddens me (or whatever your feelings are) that I will have to terminate your employment”.
• Be careful. You can only script the opening few lines, but they are important because they set the scene for the entire interview.
• It is most likely that during the remainder of the interview, the employee will travel backward and forwards between “shock” and “resistance”. Give your reasons for the termination clearly and succinctly, but do not get into a discussion about justifying yours (or your employer’s) reasons. Doing so will keep the employee fixed in either of the first two stages and will not help them to progress. Only sincere listening and clear questioning (not reasoning) will help the employee progress to the acceptance stage.
One factor that is often overlooked when firing someone, is that the way it is done can have as much impact (positive or negative) on the people who remain. They will be watching (and will invariably get a first hand report from their colleague) about how well or otherwise the process was managed. The people who remain in the organisation get a good look at both the manager’s and the organisation’s real people management skills when under the stress of firing someone. They’ll most certainly ask “Could this happen to me?”
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